Learning to Grow Up （开始学会长大了）

Chapter 1

When I was little, I would imagine myself as a grown up with a career envied by most people and with a love story mostly played out in fairy tales - where prince charming finds princess and lives happily ever after.

In high school, being a grown up had a different story. I wanted to "grow up" so I can be free and independent and do anything and everything I wanted without my parents constantly nagging and correcting me. Growing up was my way out.

But what does growing up really mean?

I was 10 then turned 15, I grew alright... and now that I'm 27, am I now considered a grown up?

I am now beginning to slowly understand what it meant to be a grown up. It wasn't the fancy clothes, the money, the career or the freedom. It was totally different from what I imagined it would be, and so I promised myself that from now on onwards, it is time for me to really grow up.

第一章

记得小时候，我常常会去想自己长大后的样子。我会想像自己有一个很让人羡慕的工作，赚很多很多的钱并想像自己会有个偶像剧般的恋情，等待者白马王子的公主，最终幸福快乐过一辈子。那时侯，这就是我所谓的 “长大”。

到了国中的时候， “长大” 变成了另外一个 “长大” 了。 我急者长大是为了 “自由”，是为了拥有一个不受父母控制的生活，因为我只想做我喜欢做的事情。

但到底什么才是真正的长大了呢？

我十岁到十五岁，是长大了啊。十五岁到二十岁，也是长大。那现在二十七岁了，也一样是长大了吗？

我现在开始慢慢了解 “长大” 是什么意思了。它并不是让人羡慕的职业，漂亮的衣服， 比零用钱高的薪水，或是自由。对于现在的我， 长大的意义并非这些东西可以衡量的，所以我告诉自己， 是时候开始学会长大了。

长大守则第一条： 要懂得尊敬别人，尤其父母。
以前我的宗旨很简单－“理最大”。跟父母之间有争吵，争论的时候，我总觉得只要是我有“理”， 我就是对的，我就得对抗到底。因此，我也说过了很多伤害父母亲的话。

有一段日子，我的两个侄子到我们家来过暑假。我最疼爱他们了！ 因为他们从很小就常常来我们家玩，他们现在都是国中生了。有一次我记得，我们在讨论一些事，我就讲了些道理给他们听，但是讲完后，他们却否定了我讲的道理，让我觉得很难堪，也觉得被自己疼爱的侄子否定，很伤心。

所以我就懂了。 父母有时候会讲我们，会骂我们，有些我们可能可以接受， 有些可能不能接受，但无论如何都没有必要去否定他们。 这并不代表他们的思想永远是对的，或者你是错的，而必须得接受他们的想法。只是去跟他们辩论，去否定他们是无谓的，你只会让他们觉得伤心，难堪而已。

对和不对有怎么重要吗？ 争完后，你赢了，你得到的有是什么？ 又谁能够说”这”才是对的，“那”是错的呢？

人跟人之间很多细想都是不一样的，所以要懂得“尊敬”。

Design Ideas!!!

Need to tell myself to pick up on my room renovation project. I still haven't posted old pictures of my room (will try to post them soon!), but looking at my room now, I am quite impressed, I never thought I would gone this far. I have been slacking off though and tons of unfinished business are piling up! So many ideas... so little time!

It's so hard to keep all the ideas in my mind and I forget about them all the time (due to early signs of aging)! So I have to make sure I do them, hopefully within the year, So I have listed them down.

1.) Make a headboard.

Link

 2.) Make an entrance for my self-made walking closet.

Link

3.) Think of something useful to reuse of old wood crate and make it look as awesome as this:

Link

 4.) Reorganize my things and clutter.

5.) Thinking to revamp my old study table into a dresser. 

6.) Create myself a new comfortable reading and blogging nook. 

7.)  I'm currently obsessed with white and have painted old furnitures in white. So, I'm thinking of adding a few colors to liven the place.

8.) I want this. Either this frame or the headboard above. Hmmm...

ikeahackers.net

9.) Adding extra shelf to my tv stand, similar to the top most part of this table.

ikeahackers.net

I Heart Einstein

I've recently acquired a special interest about this eminent physicist, whose name is commonly related (almost synonym) with the words "Scientist" and "Genius". Famous for the E = mc² equation, Einstein with his distinctive hairstyle, was and still is, the face often used to depict characters like "mad scientists" and "professors".

Here's a brief introduction of Einstein as described by Wikipedia. 


Albert Einstein ( /ˈælbərt ˈaɪnstaɪn/; German: [ˈalbɐt ˈaɪnʃtaɪn] ( listen); 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955) was a German theoretical physicist who developed the theory of general relativity, effecting a revolution in physics. For this achievement, Einstein is often regarded as the father of modern physics.^[2][3] Einstein is generally considered the most influential physicist of the 20th century. Blah blah blah... blah blah blah....


I did not understood a word. Well, science was never my favorite subject in school anyways.


What was it that fascinated me about this man? Not his Nobel prizes, nor his theories of relativity, nor the world-famous equation, but the words that were quoted from him, his philosophy, his understanding of life, made me curious of who this man really is - his family, his background and his ingenuity that was far beyond everyone else.


So here are some of the words that converted me to become a bit of his fan;


“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”


“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 


“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” 


“If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.” 


“Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.” 


“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” 


“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” 


“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.” 


“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” 


“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.” 


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 


“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” 


“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” 


“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” 


“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” 


“Never memorize something that you can look up.” 


“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.” 


“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” 


“Love is a better master than duty.” 




I can go on and on about all of the quotes I'm raving about, because clearly, he became a man of value with his theories and his wise words.


Here is how he died and left a legacy,


On 17 April 1955, Albert Einstein experienced internal bleeding caused by the rupture of anabdominal aortic aneurysm. instein refused surgery, saying: "I want to go when I want. It is tasteless to prolong life artificially. I have done my share, it is time to go. I will do it elegantly."^[66] He died in Princeton Hospital early the next morning at the age of 76, having continued to work until near the end.

During the autopsy, the pathologist of Princeton Hospital, Thomas Stoltz Harvey, removedEinstein's brain for preservation without the permission of his family, in the hope that theneuroscience of the future would be able to discover what made Einstein so intelligent.^[67]Einstein's remains were cremated and his ashes were scattered at an undisclosed location.^[68][69]

In his lecture at Einstein's memorial, nuclear physicist Robert Oppenheimer summarized his impression of him as a person: "He was almost wholly without sophistication and wholly without worldliness . . . There was always with him a wonderful purity at once childlike and profoundly stubborn."



May we all have the same innocence, stubbornness and the same sense of childlike faith about humans, nature and God. 

What Happened?

I have a vague account of my childhood days. I do not recall a lot of the details of events, thoughts or life changing moments that maybe had an impact on me and made me who I am today. I do, however, remember who I was. My recollection of childhood memories included fighting for a classmate being bullied in our class, writing fictional stories like 'Mr. Peanut' and conducting bible study classes with a group of friends that were all younger than me. To summarize, I recall myself being a brave little girl, was active, fun, and most importantly, at a very young age, had the courage to stand by the principles she believed in. Not everyone liked me, but I'd care less of what they think. I was living in my world. 

Although I never knew exactly what I wanted to become when I grew up, I knew, at the back of my mind, that I was going to do something great (maybe all kids think this way). I had limitless possibilities, I wanted so many things but I couldn't do them because of constraints, I was determined I'd do them if only I had the financial capability to do so. I thought that I was going to - in my own way - have an effect in the world.

What happened?

- Work happened.

- Reality happened.

- Responsibilities happened.

in short, excuses happened.

Today, a friend of mine just got her book published. I, of course, was very happy for her. But undoubtedly, a part of me is envious of her courage, of her ingeniousness. It made me question myself, "What happened to me over the last few years?" Nothing (It would've been much better if at least something happened).

I couldn't recall what made me lose the faith I had for myself. I couldn't remember that feeling, the feeling I had when I was a child and nothing mattered - not my grammar, not what people might say or comment, not my skills nor the depths of the words I use. I knew then that I wanted to write and even now, it haunts me.

I knew I was a young girl full of passion, I thought I was brought here to make something significant. But for the past few years, I have done nothing but to complain, to be frustrated, to sit around the couch thinking of what I might've done if only things were right.

To quote the book of Paulo Coelho - The Witch of Portobello. 

Did she pay a price? She certainly did. But she would have paid a still higher price if she had repressed her true exuberant self. She would have been bitter and frustrated, always concerned about "what other people might think," always saying "I'll just sort these things out, then I'll devote myself to my dream." always complaining that "the conditions are never quite right."

Thank you Paulo for these are my exact words. I am paying the higher price right now for repressing my dreams and ambitions for all those years. I have lose sight of that little girl I once was.

A message from me to me;

You are not like any other. Your dreams cannot be compared.

Your dreams reflect who you are and what you may achieve.

When you stop dreaming, you kill a part of yourself.

You know its your destiny if it keeps on coming back,

and haunting you wherever you go.

And when you repress your destiny,

it will be like a thirst that is never quenched.

an endless hole that can never be filled.

One day, it's going to be too late.

So be thankful you've realized it now.

Be thankful that you still got time.

Today, I have discovered one important thing that I promise to never forget.

Writing is my Ritual.